TO BE A GREAT CHAMPION YOU MUST BELIEVE YOU ARE THE BEST. IF YOU'RE NOT, PRETEND YOU ARE.
-MUHAMMAD ALI
Last week, we talked about confidence, why it's important, and sources of confidence. Today, I tell you an easy trick to increase your confidence. The easiest way to become more confident is to pretend that you are confident. While I use the term "fake it" in reality it's not fake. It may seem that way starting out, but soon the changes to our confidence are real, and easily achieved.
Fake Smiles and Real Happiness
Remember when imaging ourselves eating a lemon caused our mouths to water? How we were able to alter how our body was behaving, based on our thoughts? Well, the reverse of that is true-- our bodies can also alter how our minds work.
According to research, faking a smile can actually decrease negative feelings, increase positive feelings, and can make you feel happier. Just by pretending to be happy, and making the corresponding facial cues, our minds start to believe that we're happy. Just as thinking of a sour lemon can cause our mouths to water, forcing a smile can make our minds feel happier. So our bodies really can impact our minds, which has interesting implications for confidence.
According to research, faking a smile can actually decrease negative feelings, increase positive feelings, and can make you feel happier. Just by pretending to be happy, and making the corresponding facial cues, our minds start to believe that we're happy. Just as thinking of a sour lemon can cause our mouths to water, forcing a smile can make our minds feel happier. So our bodies really can impact our minds, which has interesting implications for confidence.
Implications for Confidence
One of the simplest tricks to improving your confidence is to fake it. Pay attention to how your body feels when you're feeling confident and when you're not. Make note of your posture, your breathing, and your muscle tension. Confident people have more "open" posture (as the body is made larger and more imposing) and more relaxed muscle tone and breathing. Try to master "faking" confidence. Soon, you won't be "faking it" at all, but simply making yourself more confident.
SUperhero Poses
Below is a video of a TED talk by Amy Cuddy, a researcher on body language, titled Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. She explains how our body language can impact our behavior and thoughts. I strongly encourage you to watch the whole video, but starting at 10:24, she discusses power poses and how we can utilize our posture to "speak to ourselves."
With my athletes, I use similar strategy called "superhero poses." This works on a similar principle, in that is it using physiological cues to help change your mental state. Before a stressful situation (a game, performance, job interview, etc), you can use this to make yourself feel more confident.
Take two minutes to yourself before your stressful situation and stand like a superhero (see left). Puff out your chest, stand tall, put your hands on your hips, and breath deeply. Pay attention to how you're feeling, and if you notice yourself start to lose the pose, correct it. Stand like this for a few minutes, thinking positive, confident thoughts. You can even tell yourself out loud, "I am confident, I am strong, I can do this," or something along those lines. Think confident thoughts (this is called "self-talk", which I'll talk more about this in a later post).
Source: Here
Take two minutes to yourself before your stressful situation and stand like a superhero (see left). Puff out your chest, stand tall, put your hands on your hips, and breath deeply. Pay attention to how you're feeling, and if you notice yourself start to lose the pose, correct it. Stand like this for a few minutes, thinking positive, confident thoughts. You can even tell yourself out loud, "I am confident, I am strong, I can do this," or something along those lines. Think confident thoughts (this is called "self-talk", which I'll talk more about this in a later post).
Source: Here
Closing Thoughts
Give these skills a shot. When you are feeling your confidence lacking, try to "fake" being confident. I think you'd be surprised at how effective it can be. Don't think of it as fake, or a lie, though. Think of it as your body telling your mind how to act. If you actually begin to feel more confident, is it "faking it" in the first place?
For a fun exercise, here's another trick you can try that I love doing. In a late-game (or run, or exercise) situation, when your body is starting to feel tired, try to convince yourself that you aren't. Slow your breathing. Stand up straight instead of hunching over. Smile like you're enjoying it. You'll notice that on top of feeling less tired, physically, it can also affect your opponent. When he's sucking air, struggling to breath, and he sees you confident and ready to go another round, you'll have the upper hand.
For a fun exercise, here's another trick you can try that I love doing. In a late-game (or run, or exercise) situation, when your body is starting to feel tired, try to convince yourself that you aren't. Slow your breathing. Stand up straight instead of hunching over. Smile like you're enjoying it. You'll notice that on top of feeling less tired, physically, it can also affect your opponent. When he's sucking air, struggling to breath, and he sees you confident and ready to go another round, you'll have the upper hand.
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